The Table Topics Song
(sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")
Oh Table Topics Master please don't call on me today
But if you do I hope that I have something good to say
I'd rather get up from my seat and run the other way
Than to speak for a minute or two (minute or two)
Than to speak for a minute or two
I'll do my best to answer with intelligence and wit
I'll breathe a big sigh of relief when I am done with it
And looking back I'll realize that it didn't hurt a bit
To speak for a minute or two (minute or two)
To speak for a minute or two
The Ah-Counter Song
(sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")
You better not "um"
You better not "so"
You better not "ah"
And please don't "you know"
The Ah-Counter is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice
He's going to give you
Some needed advice
The Ah-Counter is coming to town
He hears you when you're speaking
He knows what sounds you make
He doesn't miss a filler word
So be good for goodness sake!
You better not make
A grammar mistake
Because he is the
Grammarian too
The Ah-Counter is coming to town
The Red Timer Light Song
(sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Very well am I speaking
Confidence sure is peaking
Then I see a sight
That gives me a fright
'Cause the red light has been turned on
Oh my speech structure is great
And my gestures are first-rate
My vocal display
Excels, I must say
'Cause the red light has been turned on
I spent all this week thoroughly rehearsing
Got it right and honed it to a tee
But when I'm up here, I feel like cursing
'Cause I’m over by a minute fifty-three
Later on, I'll perspire
As the light shines much brighter
I spoke way too long
Where did I go wrong?
'Cause the red light has been turned on